I saw The Notebook (musical) again tonight. Funny how a movie I hated is now one of my favorite live shows.

And in a show about the passing of time, it’s also funny to unexpectedly find that the lead actor was the lead in my childhood favorite VHS/DVD Broadway production, Pippin. The young dreamer is now quite literally playing an old man on the stage.

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Speaking of time passing, October was a total blur this year (Octo-blur? Doesn’t have a ring to it.) But what’s long been my favorite month, with the weather, the changing leaves, the Halloween vibes… basically went by without me noticing. Between buying a house and selling a house, my mind was way too occupied to appreciate the color on the trees.

But I’m excited for the next chapter. To make new memories.

And I’ve had to resist the urge to look too closely at the things I’m packing up, for fear I’ll find myself in the nostalgia spiral. I get this aching desire to relive a day from the past. Not to change anything. But just to experience a moment again, to appreciate it a little more.

That spiral is especially triggered when I archaeologize (that’s a word now) through old random artifacts from the past… an Aerostar logo from Larry’s van, a piece of cardboard from The Fort we built in college, a stone I picked up from the beach on the day of the solar eclipse a few years ago.

Baubles and trinkets with no intrinsic value, that mean virtually nothing to anyone else. Within me, though, they spark joy and sadness (two sides of the same coin)… But feeling sad doesn’t have to mean feeling bad.

And taking a trip down memory lane is great as long as you don’t let yourself get lost.

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To pull me back, I sometimes say this expression out loud from a shirt I bought my partner years ago: These are the good old days.

It reminds me that before I know it, today will be a memory. A time I can never return to. And one day, I’ll stumble across an artifact from today: the program from the show, or the puzzle I bought from the creepy toy store I wandered into. Or maybe I’ll read back this post. But something will make me wish I could just relive this completely unremarkable moment.

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The days are long, but the years are short.

current mood: wistful

current music: ryan vasquez – leave the light on