Sometimes, I walk into a store and find out they don’t have what I was planning to buy.. so I realize that I just need to leave.

And for some inexplicable reason, I think to myself, “okay don’t look suspicious” and it’s at that moment that I lose all muscle memory of how to walk normally. I suddenly become an alien that’s visiting Earth for the first time, and I must try to blend in among the earthlings.

As I lankily fumble through the automatic doors, I make eye contact with the cashier, flash a blank smile, and tip my nonexistent hat. And I think to myself, “Nailed it.”

current mood: weird

current music: talking heads – this must be the place