I took a 4.5 hour flight today. I hate long flights. I hate short flights too.

Plane rides give me anxiety. Despite my rational brain saying, “statistically this is safe,” my body feels this constant undercurrent of this is wholly unnatural and uncomfortable.

And then those last 20 minutes, after the captain announces we’ll be landing soon, frankly feel like a lifetime. Time slows, I close my eyes, and try to listen to music… and each song feels like it lasts an hour.

The anxiety today was strong, especially given the recent tragic crash. Waves of fear and sadness punctuated by the constant on-and-off of the bathroom occupied light. Folks on this flight must have been extra thirsty this morning.

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Anyway, when I fly, I typically try to sleep, listen to podcasts, or occasionally put on a movie I’ve seen so I don’t have to watch too closely. Today, I took myself up on the reminder from my last post — I watched I ♥ Huckabees for the first time in maybe 15 years.

I forgot how much that movie is everything (and nothing) to me. It’s rare I ever meet someone who has seen it, let alone liked it. But for me, it connected deeply with my mental state when it came out, and the concepts in it (absurdly illustrated, as they are) resonate with my mindset even today.

“The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.”

current mood: knocked out

current music: death cab for cutie – rand mcnally