Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

That was the theme of my wedding, memorialized by the kazoos we handed out at the reception. I don’t think my wife realized I meant that phrase as a promise.

I’ve always been one to let my inner child out. I’m delighted by novelty and find joy in everything silly. My favorite part about being a dad is that I now have a group of 7-12 year old peers who match my energy.

That part of me still shines (and I hope it always does), but somewhere along the way, without fanfare or ceremony, I’ve become a grown up.

Adulthood doesn’t arrive with a specific age or legal milestone… it reveals itself in adversity. At some point, you become the first person you turn to in the face of a crisis.

Some people have it thrust upon them. For me, it came gradually.

But now, when problems arise, I feel the weight fall squarely on my shoulders. I may ask for help, but I feel complete ownership of the guidance I seek and whether I listen.

Beyond that inherent sense of responsibility, though, I’ve found something unexpected: there’s a quiet joy in growing up.

You get to set your priorities.
You get to decide what matters.
(And sure, you have to live with those decisions.)

But you don’t have to give up to grow up.

Growing up doesn’t have to mean letting go of wonder, but learning to carry it alongside (and in spite of) everything else. 

It’s not about having all the answers, but about realizing that you don’t and showing up anyway. It’s about holding complexity and not needing to resolve it all before bed.

And despite the finality of the term grown up, you don’t have to stop growing. It’s not a finish line, it’s a practice; a quiet discipline of taking ownership of your life and learning in the process.

There are trade-offs, for sure. You stop chasing every spark and start tending to the fire. You practice slightly more editorial review of your whims before you follow them. You stop searching for profound moments in favor of appreciating the little ones.

So in recognition of a profound little moment in my life, I’m ready to admit it—
Despite my best efforts, I am, in fact, a grown up.
(Though I still play a mean kazoo.)

current mood: centered

current music: mumford & sons – malibu